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By now, surely everyone’s familiar with the unity candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your wedding?

Although the unity candle seems to have been with us forever, it’s only about ten years old. Since then, many more “two-become-one” rituals have arrived to round out the theme.

Unification ceremonies aren’t just a symbol of togetherness, they’re also very flexible parts of the ceremony. These rituals are good for “opening up” the wedding to include additional family members, such as the bridal couple’s parents. Children from previous marriages can play a part. And in a smaller wedding, the entire congregation can have a role in the ritual. The candle and rose ceremonies are good for adapting this way.

Unification ceremonies can also be “stacked.” It’s not unusual to find a wedding that includes a hand and water ceremony, for example, or a wine and rose ceremony. Some couples play music during these ceremonies and others don’t.

The timing of unification ceremonies varies, but usually they take place right before or after the exchange of vows. These ceremonies may play an especially important role in non-deminational or civil weddings, which may end rather quickly otherwise!

Let’s look at some alternatives to the Unity Candle ceremony:

Rose Ceremony
The rose ceremony is a flexible, informal ceremony especially suited to an interfaith or non-religious wedding, not to mention a garden wedding! In the rose ceremony, bride and groom exchange a single rose as their first married gift to each other. They are asked to recall this symbol of their love during the more trying seasons of marriage.

Hand Ceremony
In the hand ceremony, the bride takes the groom’s hands in hers, palms up. The officiant invites her to view his hands as a gift, and says: “These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as together you laugh and cry, and together you share your innermost secrets and dreams.”

The groom then takes the bride’s hands, palm side up. The officiant says, “They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness, as she promises her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.”

Knot Ceremony
In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal couple are given a cord, which the officiant later asks them to give to the bridal couple. The couple ties a lover’s knot, which they may save to look back on later.

Sand, Water and Wine Ceremonies
These are all mixing ceremonies suited to a Unitarian or interfaith wedding. The sand ceremony is said to arise from Apache customs, and is popular in beach weddings. In each case, the bride and groom pour sand or liquid from two separate vials into one. In the wine ceremony, they drink the mixed wine.

A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine while the groom pours red. You can then serve rose at the reception to remind everyone of the ceremony.

The Salt Covenant
The salt covenant is an ancient tradition, well-described in the Bible, and appearing regularly in Indian-national and Jewish weddings. Like the Jewish Huppah, the salt covenant (a mixing ceremony with ancient connotations of loyalty, protection and hospitality) is beginning to show up in non-Jewish weddings as well.

The Foot-Washing Ceremony
The foot washing ceremony (not to be confused with the Scottish bridal foot-washing ceremony, a raucous pre-wedding event) is a fascinating, solemn custom emphasizing the role of dual servitude in a marriage.

This short article hasn’t covered all the unification ceremonies: there are bread-sharing ceremonies, circling ceremonies, broom jumping ceremonies, and probably more ceremonies that are being invented right now.

But if you feel a unification ceremony might make your wedding more meaningful and personal, consider these alternatives. Don’t forget that you can use more than one!

Blake Kritzberg is editor of FavorIdeas. Stop by for fresh autumn wedding ideas and a completely indulgent collection of wedding favors for fall.

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I must first present the disclaimer: as only one man, I cannot, and will not, speak for the rest of my gender. I can only present my side of the story and the details and ideas I have personally acquired throughout my short yet informative and experienced mature life.

From a time I can barely recall, lingerie has been a dear part of my heart. At that certain point in a man’s premature teenage years, he begins to take notice of the opposite gender. Much of this takes place in anything he can get his hands on: department store catalogs, an uncle’s pornographic magazine collection, and most recently, I suppose the internet.

My memories take me back to a tree fort belonging to the boys of the neighborhood. We spent many long summers building and perfecting the gathering place where we would share the freshest contraband we could somehow acquire. Probably not too far a stretch from most ordinary boys and their neighborhood pals.

My college years were not too different. Living with male roommates, there was no shortage of adult magazines to flip through while watching another rerun of “The Simpsons.” These porno mags seemed central to all bathroom reading material belonging to most male inhabited apartments or houses I had the pleasure of stepping into.

My adoration of the porno mag was not just about the bare image of a lady. It had just as much to do with the glamorous lingerie she was in the middle of taking off. What is it about lingerie that starts a young lad’s engine? Men are much more visual than our counterparts, this I understand.

But why would I rather see a lady in fine lingerie than with nothing on at all? The only answer I can give is the imagination. Since we are such visual creatures, we rely on our perception. This scenario may be similar to the “beer goggles” one may experience late at night. We lean on our imagination and perception to trigger our sexual fantasies. We close our eyes and dream of the possibilities. Lingerie is the trigger of our minds’ endless pursuit of fantasy.

Then why do I freeze up in the lingerie store?

It may be for none other than lack of knowledge. We (men) are not here on Earth to predict the unpredictable. We go with the flow. There is no way to know what kind of lingerie she will like, and we will undoubtedly buy her a size that will leave her feeling insulted.

When we see a woman in an appealing ensemble of intimates, we always seem to know what we like, but we cannot possibly transfer this data to what she will like. We can satisfy ourselves in this situation, but never the other. Therefore, we both lose.

There will be a time when we hit the jackpot, though. It’s a numbers game. If we buy her enough lingerie, we are bound to get it right at least once. This is no minor victory in the man’s mind. The fireworks will be seen by all, and those who missed it will get the play-by-play.

Lingerie follows the golden rule of gift giving in general: it is the thought that counts. This is the rule we truly understand, and when we fail we have no excuses. To repair the damage, most of us resort to the action we should’ve taken in the first place.

Robb Ksiazek is a successful author and publisher for http://www.lingerie-4u.biz. He has researched and written hundreds of articles and can simplify your online search by recommending merchants for the best value and selections in quality lingerie, stockings, panties, and bra intimates.

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